Merry and Pippin's BIG mistake
by XxDragon Princess NikkixX
Summary: What happens when Merry and Pippin get the Ring for one hour? They couldn’t possibly lose it or anything, right? Wrong! :: Finished! :: --All new ReViSeD eDiTiOn !--
1. Stinky Frodo

A/n: Hey! I have had this posted for quite awhile now and when I reread it, I was ashamed of all the spelling errors. I've decided to fix it up a bit. I agree with anyone who claims this is an incredibly short, pointless, and un-humorous story. It is, however, my first one and so I don't want to delete it. Plus it got good reviews, oddly enough. I did fix some spelling/grammar problems (the ones that I could see. Sadly, I'm still not the best with editing documents) so hopefully it won't be as painful to read anymore.  
  
Yes, the characters are off in their characterization. It was completely intentional. ^_^ I did fix all three chapters and added a few things into the story. It's not much different though so don't be expecting a drastic change!  
  
--  
  
Disclaimer: Most unfortunately I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this story. Well, I may own a couple, but none of the main LOTR characters. I wish I owned Legolas *whimpers* Don't we all?  
  
This is the first fanfic I have ever done. *bites lip nervously* So could you please R & R so I know if I totally suck (which I probably do). This takes place somewhere near an Elven village and is on the quest to destroy the One Ring while the Fellowship were still together.  
  
--  
  
"Frodo! When was the last time you have bathed?" cried Aragorn, his nose scrunched up with disgust.  
  
"It isn't my fault! I don't think I should get the ring wet. . .I mean, who knows what could happen?" Frodo replied glaring at Aragorn from the rock he was sitting on.  
  
"Well, have the hobbits hold it for awhile while you take a bath. . .I can't stand your stench anymore!"  
  
Frodo glanced at the other three hobbits just in time to see Sam picking his nose, Merry licking his elbow clean, and Pippin doing. . .well Frodo didn't want to see THAT for too long.  
  
Looking up at Aragorn, his eyebrows raised, he asked incredulously, "Are you kidding? I mean. . .seriously. . . look at them! You think I'm gonna trust all of Middle Earth to THEM? Why don't you hold it for me?"  
  
Irritated Aragorn replied, "Because you idiot, you know what happens when MEN get the One Ring; don't be stupid! Legolas. . .well. . .he's with an elf girl. . .doing. . .well, forget him, he's out of the picture. Gimli smells just as bad as you and I'm going to make him take a bath. That leaves the hobbits and I'm telling you here and now I am NOT going to go along on this-this. . .quest. . .thingy. . .unless you take a bath!"  
  
Frodo sighed. "Well, I guess I have no choice then do I? But, aw, come on. . .do I really smell that bad?"  
  
He lifted up his armpit and stuck his nose into it. As soon as he got the first whiff he fell over backward and landed with a thud over a rock. Propping himself up he said, "Ok, you win."  
  
Frodo picked himself up, dusted his pants free of dirt, and walked over to the hobbits, clearing his throat. "Hey guys, umm. . .Aragorn says that I stink," he said glancing back so he could glare at Aragorn. "And he suggests that I take a bath while we're here. I don't want to get the Ring wet though so I was wondering if you would like to hang onto it for an hour or so while I clean up."  
  
All three of them stopped what they were doing and looked up eagerly. Just then Aragorn yelled, "Except Sam! I need some help getting supplies, I can't carry it all alone!"  
  
Disappointed, Sam looked down and walked away with Aragorn, his hands in his pockets.  
  
Frodo glanced at Merry and Pippin who had continued their strange and, in Pippin's case, disgusting doings and rolled his eyes. Oh great, he thought, just what I need. . .the responsible hobbit to leave.  
  
"Well, I guess that leaves you two." He said, glancing warily at them and giving a fake short chuckle. "So, umm. . .here you go Pippin, it's all yours for an hour."  
  
"MUAHAHAHA," Pippin yelled, "at LAST! AT LAST!!!! The Ring is MINE! Its miiinee!"  
  
"Ah. . .oops. . .er. . .I MEANT Merry!" said Frodo hurriedly as he grabbed the ring out of Pippin's hands.  
  
Merry smiled proudly and gave a superior look to Pippin who scowled at him and muttered, "Geez, I was just kidding."  
  
Frodo started backing away looking very nervous and disgruntled. "Well I guess I'll go jump in the river. . .make sure you're back here in an hour! I mean it! If you're not here in EXACTLY one hour I will throw you into Mount Doom when I destroy the Ring!"  
  
Merry and Pippin shuddered as Frodo disappeared into the trees. "Well, we certainly don't want that to happen, " said Pippin, his voice shaking a little.  
  
"Duh Pip! Don't worry, he was only kidding." said Merry, although he didn't sound so sure.  
  
"Soooo. . ." Merry said, breaking the silence. "What should we do?"  
  
"Hmmm. . ." replied Pippin, "Geez, look at this Ring. It's old and filthy and. . . BLEH"  
  
"Yah, it sure is ugly. . .hey! I got a GREAT idea! Let's go look around the village!" said Merry excitedly.  
  
"Hey! Yah! Lets do that!" Together they stood up and brushed the dirt off their pants. Then they headed toward the village. 


	2. Yes exactly I gave away the one Ring!

The Village  
  
Merry and Pippin strode happily into the village, glancing from left to right at all the Elves. Merry had the Ring on the necklace around his neck and he stuck out his chest proudly. Pippin followed like a dog, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. The dusty street was lined with merchants selling goods and Elves bustled about, talking idly.  
  
Just then Merry spotted a lovely maiden. She was very short, a little taller than a hobbit. She was. . . "a midget elf!" cried Merry, mouth watering. She turned and saw him, gave him a bright smile and lifted up her finger, which she used to indicate she wanted him to follow.  
  
Drooling slightly, Merry trailed after the maiden until Pippin grabbed him rather rudely from the back of his shirt.  
  
"What?" Merry cried angrily, eyes trailing after the maiden.  
  
"Can I carry the ring?" he asked eagerly.  
  
"Yah. . .sure. . ." Merry replied distantly. He took the ring off and handed it absently to Pippin. "I'll be back later ok?" and with that he hurried and ran off after the maiden.  
  
Now Pippin was the one who could stick out his chest proudly. He walked down the road eyes alight, the ring shining from his chest. After strutting his stuff for awhile past a particularly rich looking elf, a sales Elf waved him over.  
  
"That's mighty fine ring ya got there, little hobbit," said the merchant, eyeing the ring hungrily.  
  
Pippin smiled proudly as he stuck his chest out even further "Well of course it is, what do you expect from a rich hobbit such as myself?"  
  
"Well I have ta tell ya, it's a bit out of shape. . .would you like to trade that one for say, oh, maybe TWO rings?"  
  
"Weeeelll. . ." said Pippin uncertainly.  
  
"Lookie here, these two rings are the finest in all of middle earth." The merchant pulled out two rings, one encrusted with diamonds, the other a clear shiny gold. They were the most amazing things Pippin had ever seen. He glanced down at the dirty, plain old gold ring. . . then at the studded diamond one and the clean magnificent gold one. He smiled happily. Think how happy Frodo will be with two rings instead of one! Everyone would be SO proud of him to do such a good trade!  
  
Eagerly he removed the One Ring from his neck and traded it with the other two. Smiling proudly, he continued walking down the street.  
  
--  
  
Merry caught up to him a half an hour later. His hair was ruffled and his clothes seemed to have been put on rather hurriedly. He had a big lopsided grin on his face and his eyes were wide.  
  
"Merry. . ."  
  
"Guess what I di. . ."  
  
They both said at the same time. Pippin continued rambling, "Look, look! I traded that ugly old ring for two beautiful ones! See! See!"  
  
Merry's smile quickly faded, "YOU WHAT?"  
  
Pippin smiled happily and related his story. Merry clenched his fist and smacked Pippin on the back of his head. "YOU IDIOT!" he cried.  
  
Pippin was knocked to his knees. He quickly stood up rubbing the back of his head "What was that for?"  
  
"YOU GAVE AWAY THE ONE RING!" Merry roared furiously.  
  
"Yes! Exactly, I gave away the one Ri. . .AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I GAVE AWAY THE ONE RING!" Pippin shrieked, finally understanding.  
  
"Oh MAN! Frodo is going to KILL us!" Merry sobbed, pacing back and forth clutching his hair.  
  
"Oh no, oh no, oh no. . ." Pippin choked struck with a horrible thought. "He's going to throw us into Mount Doom!"  
  
Merry glared at him and hit him on the head again. "SHUT UP! We'll just have to go trade the rings back, that's all. Frodo will never have to know about it."  
  
So they both stood up and, after much searching, they found the merchant.  
  
"Oh sorry lads, I sold the ring just a moment ago . . ."  
  
Pippin was smiling dumbly, certain that they had found a way out. He was still smiling long after Merry had paled. Then, about a minute after the merchants' words, his smile faded and he started choking. Merry hit him hard on the back. Pippin flew forward and started moaning incoherently.  
  
"What are we gonna do?" Pippin wailed, his voice a faint hiss.  
  
"There's only one thing to do," Merry replied, his voice scratchy and his face pale.  
  
Together they walked back into the forest to find Frodo 


	3. Finding the Ring

Slowly Merry and Pippin approached Frodo, false smiles on their faces. Frodo grinned, "Hey guys! Man do I feel good!"  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHA" Merry and Pippin both burst out laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" Frodo asked, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Oh. Uh. . . nothing!" said Merry, mentally hitting himself.  
  
"Ok. . ." Frodo said, giving them an odd look. "Well, can I have the ring back?"  
  
Again, they both burst out laughing.  
  
"Of course you can have it back!" said Merry between false chuckles, "Cuz, ya know, it's not like oh say, we TRADED it for anything right? Because. . .heh-heh. . .I mean that would be TOTALLY idiotic right?"  
  
Pippin started laughing, "Yah! It's not like we would EVER do something like that!"  
  
Frodo glanced uncertainly between them, "Haha. . .well. . .er. . . hand it over"  
  
They both started their false laughing again, this time it sounded incredibly forced.  
  
"Well, er. . . that's just the thing! WE ACTUALLY DID do an IDIOTIC thing like that." And they laughed all the more loud.  
  
Frodo's uncertain grin faded immediately. "YOU WHAT?" He screamed furiously.  
  
"Please, please, please, don't throw us into Mount Doom. PLEASE." Pippin moaned.  
  
Merry stopped laughing. "We can explain." He stuttered alongside Pippin.  
  
Merry began, "We went into the village and I left Pippin with the Ring. . ."  
  
Pippin continued, "Yah, and and and I thought I would get you TWO better rings than the ugly old one that was the One Ring, so I traded it with a merchant. . ."  
  
"Then I found him and it was already to late." Merry finished. Both glanced down at their shoes, Pippin with a dumb smile on his face as he noticed a little ant on the ground.  
  
Frodo took a deep, shaky breath, "If we don't find it I will KILL you," he muttered through clenched teeth. "Let's go find Aragorn and the others."  
  
Frodo started walking toward the village and Pippin looked at Merry as they trailed behind, "Didja here that?" he asked, his eyes filled with tears. "He's gonna kill us!"  
  
Merry stuck his foot out and tripped Pippin, then continued on.  
  
--  
  
When they reached the village they found Aragorn almost immediately. He was walking to various sales tents and looked surprised to see them. Frodo related what happened quickly, being sure to mention several times that it was all Aragorn's fault. Aragorn was tight lipped and after a moment burst out screaming a long lecture to both Pippin and Merry, filled with death threats. They sank beneath his fury and Pippin looked as if he would rather be thrown into Mount Doom than stay here and listen to Aragorn's angry bellow's.  
  
Legolas was found again, lipstick covering his face, his hair disheveled and a misty look in his eyes. They quickly filled him in and Legolas was completely outraged. "Why'd you let them carry it? I could have done it!"  
  
"You were off with some Elven girl!" Frodo yelled.  
  
"Oh yah," Legolas said, grinning sheepishly. "That was far more important."  
  
Together they searched the streets and soon found the merchant who was just packing up his tent and supplies. They talked to him quickly, stating how important it was to gain the ring. "It's the ONE ring." Pippin piped up knowingly. "We need it to destroy Sauron! It's really powerful you know-" He was cut short as Aragorn smacked the back of his head.  
  
The merchant looked put out that he had sold the legendary Ring of Power but he described to them what the buyer looked like. They spent hours looking and looking until they found a large crowd of girls surrounding a geeky looking man. Quickly they looked and discovered that he was showing off his newly cleaned gold ring. Frodo knew instantly that it was the One Ring.  
  
"Ladies, ladies. I know how highly attractive I am," the man snorted and preceded to choke on his own spit. After gaining his breath, he cleared his throat. "But only the most beautiful woman here can have me. For I can do magic unlike anything you have ever seen." He paused. "Observe!"  
  
The man lifted the Ring and with much flourish and pomp placed it on his finger. He disappeared much to the distress and awe of the crowd of women.  
  
"Hey!" Frodo muttered defensively. "That's my trick!"  
  
"Where are those bloody Ring Wraiths when you need them?" Legolas muttered, combing his hair and grinning at five giggling ladies who became very interested in Legolas rather than the disappearing man.  
  
Aragorn pushed through the crowd and reached the dais that the man had disappeared on. The man reappeared looking slightly ruffled but no less pompous. Aragorn roughly pulled the man back and grabbed the ring off his hand. . . "Hey! My ring!" he cried.  
  
Aragorn snapped the chain off of Pippins neck and gave the man the two other rings. The man's eyes widened and he turned back to his crowd. He placed one of the Ring's on his fingers and, obviously thinking he had disappeared, he began picking his nose and straightening his clothing, paying careful attention to the small bump in his pants.  
  
The Fellowship left the crowd as the women began laughing hysterically at the oblivious man.  
  
Pippin and Merry glanced at each other and gave a great sigh of relief. Then Merry hit Pippin on the back of the head again and muttered, "Don't EVER do something like that again." Pippin just scowled.  
  
Aragorn, Frodo, Legolas, Merry and Pippin walked back toward the forest to meet up with Boromir and Gimli. Frodo whispered into Merry and Pippin's ear, "You are VERY lucky."  
  
Merry and Pippin smiled weakly.  
  
"So," Legolas said, waving goodbye to a crowd of women had followed him into the forest. "Since Pippin is the one who traded it, where were you Merry?"  
  
Merry's face lit up immediately, "Well, see there was this girl. . ." and he proceeded to tell him a detailed story of the amazing things he and this girl did.  
  
Everyone in the company burst out laughing except for Pippin who said, "I don't get it. . ." Merry rolled his eyes.  
  
Legolas whispered in Pippin's ear and his face went from curiosity to shock. "WOW! I didn't know you could do that Merry!"  
  
Aragorn sighed, "I can't wait till all this is over." He began dreaming of Arwen.  
  
Frodo and Sam rolled their eyes. "How you can you be thinking of that NOW? We have a ONE RING to destroy you idiots!!"  
  
They stopped their fantasizing and continued on their journey.  
  
--  
  
A/n: I am greatly ashamed that I wrote this story. *sighs* but I just can't delete it. Hopefully it isn't the most stupid story on fanfiction.net. I wouldn't doubt it if it was. *shrug* it's literally the first thing I have ever written! I have an excuse! LoL! Thanks for reading this far though! Please review! 


End file.
